Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
