I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
