If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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