Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
