Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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