she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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