ya dads aren't the best wingmen
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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