laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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