Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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