Banned from zoo.
Again?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
