Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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