I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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