we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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