Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You peed on a flamingo?!?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
