I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
