i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
