is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Randomize
