Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
