This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
