You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
