so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
