All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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