you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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