Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
