Kareoke will never be a sober sport
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
