oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
