Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
