i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My vagina is very pro this idea
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
