I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
