that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
