in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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