I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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