His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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