I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
