Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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