We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
