At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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