im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
