My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
