so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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