she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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