Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
