Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude. I can hear the air.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize