I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
