She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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