so explain again why im purple
no
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I deserve to be covered in dicks
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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