I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
a search helicopter?!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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