my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
