god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's blow job season.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
