Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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