but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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