Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
