I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
