I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sober January is a disaster.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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