id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
